Don't ask, Don't tell (Dating Edition)

A lot of weird and out of control things have happened to me in the last 2.5 years of my life. Lately, I've been on an upswing, but I truly believe that only happened because I took action to prevent certain situations from happening again. Trauma and some shadiness taught me to protect myself and yes, that means I'm now every bit of a psychological cherry picked stereotype. I keep people just on the outside of my inner circle, I make them earn my trust by having them divulge important and sacred details of their life first. I make sure they know how to be in the mix without being "in the mix" before even mentioning them to my friends or even have a thought of introducing them and I'm extremely suspicious of strange behavior and ex girlfriends still hanging around in the wrong way.

I know what you're thinking already! "How exhausting and unfair!"

But if you walked around in my shoes, you would too learn to keep your defenses up. I don't see it to be unfair and exhausting. What's exhausting is trying to convince someone what monogamy and honesty means to you. What's unfair is getting ready to spend your hard earned money to converge your domestic life with a potential partner and having the rug pulled out from under you. Before you get self-righteous again just remember I've seen this happen to colleagues, friends, and family. There's nothing cute about being hung out to dry, so I see it as I really don't want my time, financial resources, and energy wasted. I'm a person who needs the family, friends, and partners in her life to "be about that life" which entails being supportive, helpful, and a a cheerleader because that's how I love. That's what I give to people I love and I know now more than ever that's how I deserved to be treated in return.

So while I use to be more upfront with people on how the dating scene is going, now I don't say a word or I divert to a new topic. My social media life and real life are totally separate because it will stop people from asking who I'm dating, who's in a rotation and all this other nonsense I really don't even believe in.

In fact, even though my industry and job function calls for social media and I personally love it, I hope the person I marry just doesn't have it. I hope they can't even turn on a computer or know how to delete a text or have snapchat or know what "double tap" even means.

Where can I find someone like that?

You might just wake up one day and see my elopement on instagram with no tags of my partner and then I'll be in the social media wind for the rest of my life.

Feel me?

#dating #socialmedia #life