I'm a Baby and I'm Having a Meltdown

And so goes the story.

The young woman turns 22 and everything in her life starts to get real, yet never really makes sense ever again.

Here I am at 22, graduating in December, starting a new job, and leaving all the comforts of a typical college career behind because I've panicked and that's what I thought I needed to do. I needed to challenge myself and use this extended time to make myself grow and reach for new horizons.

Just a few weeks later, here I am world; having a glass of wine every night to deal with anxiety that won't quit, crying and wondering why I forced myself into all this new change when I didn't have to, thinking maybe I won't conquer the world during my 15 year plan, and per usual looking at my loans and hoping Brad and Angelina are looking to adopt a 22 -year -old who is going through a self-inflicted crisis.

Logically in my young and crazy mind, It's all beginning to fall apart just like everyone said it would. There's no clear path and no more promised success. The hard work from here on out may never count towards an actual gain of anything.

Here's what I'm trying to accept about life just as I did when I left high school 4 years ago. It's downright uncomfortable. It's ever-changing. Nothing stays the same forever. I was watching one of my favorite episodes of Sex and The City entitled "The Baby Shower" and I learned something.

Who I am now is not who I was 6 months ago or even a year ago. That person I was in the prime of my undergraduate years has already left the building in fact.

"One day you're gonna wake up, and you're not gonna recognize yourself."

God willing, I don't.

Cheers to the fictional Laney Berlin. May we ungraciously have the meltdown we need but have the strength to keep meeting our new selves over and over again.

#meltdown #20s #college #SexAndTheCity